Thursday, September 12, 2002
I thought you would all be upset if a whole day went by without me telling you about the Nic dream I had last night. No seriously. If you think that I am just sitting here every day making up stories to tell...you are dead wrong.
DEAD WRONG!
All of what I write is pure truth.
If you get tired of hearing about my crazy nicotine dreams, leave me a comment.
Not that I will stop writing them or anything. It will just give me a reason to laugh in your face.
Let me begin...
I am sitting in my house in Albany and we are having some sort of a party. My whole family is there, including my gay uncles from California. Kelly and Rita are also there, and guess what? So is fucking BJ. (Does BJ ALWAYS have to be in my nicotine dreams?
In case you didn't know, the answer to that question is yes)
There are also other people in the house, but they remain faceless, thus making them nameless.
We are all sitting there and talking when someone yells out that we should go to the local indoor playground. (In Albany, we call it Stompin Grounds. I worked there for 2 years. They have big structures made of tubes, and bins full of colored balls to play in. Although, do NOT play in them. They are filled with kid piss. Just an insiders piece of advice for ya.
We all load up into our various cars and drive to Stompin Grounds. On the way, my uncles say that there is this new dinosaur game that we should all play. (I get very excited cuz I just LOVE dinosaurs.) We pull up to Stompin Grounds and all file into the building. Once inside, it is like kid heaven. There are tons of those tube structures, numerous ball pens, and a food court, and a huge slide, and and and...so many things.
I am thrilled! I look around the place and there are about 100 students from the place that I work at. They make some sort of announcement that the "Dinosaur game" will start so I run over and get on my uniform. The uniform for the dinosaur game is kind of like an athlete's jersey. Mine was red.
I realize that no one else in the group wants to play the dinosaur game. They only want to eat pizza and sit and watch. I still play with people that I don't know and they all vary in age. Some were 3 years old, some were 80 years old.
The game begins and I don't know how to play. All I know is that I have to figure out a way to destroy these so called dinosaurs.
A HUGE door opens from the bottom up and I see the most amazing thing. There are two dinosaurs that must be at least 80 feet high. They are gigantor and are both T-rex's. One is green and one is red. Oh. Did I mention that they were made of Lego's? Cuz they were. Green and red legos. Once the door is open, the T-rex's ROAR very loudly and start to step out of their holding pens. All of the people I am with scream at the top of their lungs and start running to hide. I am so excited to play and can't wait to get started. I stand where I am and face the dinos. The red T-rex steps right in front of me and bends down to pick up a little girl that is next to me. I start laughing cuz she was caught. The laughter stopped when I realize that this red lego T-rex swallows the little girl whole. She just disappears into his massive belly. I think to myself "Um. Is this the game I signed up for? Dying isn't so much fun. " I quickly run away and hide in climb inside one of the tube structures. I hide in this yellow tube and watch the T-rex's scour the building for everyone in the game. Everyone else that I came with sit on the sidelines, eating pizza and cheering for their favorite player. I see my uncles and they mouth to me:
"YOU CAN DO IT!"
Little boys, old women, grown men, they all get swallowed whole by these dinosaurs. I start to think to myself: "How do I POSSIBLY destroy them to win the game?" I see people throwing balls and other various objects at them and all it seems to do is piss them off more.
Even though I am totally hidden in one of the tubes, the red T-rex eyes me and comes charging towards the tube structure I am in.
I climb higher and higher until I at least 20 feet above him. Now, I don't know how the T-rex does this, but he shrinks to a smaller, but still huge size, and starts to climb into the tubes after me.
It was at this point that the dream turned into a horrifying nightmare.
I notice that the T-rex is very agile and is climbing up towards me very fast. I find an exit slide in the tubes and I slide away from him.
Once at the bottom of this amazing slide, I see a lego Betty Rubble and Wilma Flintstone go running by me with one kid above each of their heads. (Understand this...it may sound bizzare and slightly humorous, but when I saw them run by, a major streak of fear coursed through my veins.)(cuz I mean seriously...no one said that lego betty's and wilma's would be in the game!)
I run over to my gay uncle Brad and I say: "Help me! HELP ME!" He, along with the rest of my family, BURST out laughing at me and Brad says: "You wanted to play, so go play."
Yikes.
I turn around and notice that the green T-rex and spotted me and is charging in my direction. I look to my right and see a bathroom door. I run over to it and go inside. Once inside, I realize that it isn't a bathroom at all, but some sort of EXTREMELY small storage closet. I lock the door and think to myself: "He could never get in here. It is air tight and there is a metal door separating the two of us.
As I am thinking this, the T-rex starts to ram his head against the door. The door seems to hold up and I feel relieved. I'll just wait until the game is over and then I will come out, I think.
But the green T-rex isn't giving up. He roars loudly and then takes a huge bite out of the top of the door. I scream as well and back as far as I can into the corner. The T-rex starts taking bite after bite out of the door, with a HUGE vengence. The strength he has proves to be too much for the storage closet. A whole opens up to my right. After the T-rex finishes off the door, I stand there screaming. He then lunges at me with the biggest lego teeth I have ever seen. I quickly jump over his snout and through the hole that has opened up. I go running as fast as I can back to the huge tube structure that I was in.
The T-rex screams "I AM GOING TO GET YOU!"
(Yes, you got that right. Suddenly the T-rex speaks very good English)
I climb and climb into the tubes and once I am at the very highest point of the structure I look down and see his huge head below me. At this point he is eating someone, but I can't tell who it is. I look across the room and see this kid Orahn that is a student at my workplace. (Yes Ari. Orahn is waving at me from across the room....why the FUCK is he in my dream?) I wave back, as though I have the time, and look back down at the T-rex. His doesn't seem to be noticing me, but I notice that on the very top of his skull is a button that says
"PUSH ME". Without even thinking about it, I vault over the side of the structure and I land directly on the button. The entire dinosaur collapses VERY GENTLY under me and the T-rex turns into a baby lego T-rex.
Swear to God, the fear leaves me and I think "How cute!"
I pick up the baby T-rex and hold it in the palm of my hand. I look around the room and no one is running anywhere. It's just kids playing normal games like "Who can climb the tubes fastest?" or "Try to find me in the balls!"
The game seems to be over. Uncle Brad calls out: "Time to go home." I go over to meet my family and we leave Stompin' Grounds. As we walk out to the parking lot, I wake up.
WHA WHA WHAT?!?!?!?!
And that's it. But when I woke up, I was still petrified. Why the FUCK did I dream about this. Why the FUCK have I had any of the dreams that I have had in the last 3 nights? I can blame it on the nicotine patch, or I can just accept the fact that I think in ways that only psycho-paths and serial killers think.
Hmmm....
DEAD WRONG!
All of what I write is pure truth.
If you get tired of hearing about my crazy nicotine dreams, leave me a comment.
Not that I will stop writing them or anything. It will just give me a reason to laugh in your face.
Let me begin...
I am sitting in my house in Albany and we are having some sort of a party. My whole family is there, including my gay uncles from California. Kelly and Rita are also there, and guess what? So is fucking BJ. (Does BJ ALWAYS have to be in my nicotine dreams?
In case you didn't know, the answer to that question is yes)
There are also other people in the house, but they remain faceless, thus making them nameless.
We are all sitting there and talking when someone yells out that we should go to the local indoor playground. (In Albany, we call it Stompin Grounds. I worked there for 2 years. They have big structures made of tubes, and bins full of colored balls to play in. Although, do NOT play in them. They are filled with kid piss. Just an insiders piece of advice for ya.
We all load up into our various cars and drive to Stompin Grounds. On the way, my uncles say that there is this new dinosaur game that we should all play. (I get very excited cuz I just LOVE dinosaurs.) We pull up to Stompin Grounds and all file into the building. Once inside, it is like kid heaven. There are tons of those tube structures, numerous ball pens, and a food court, and a huge slide, and and and...so many things.
I am thrilled! I look around the place and there are about 100 students from the place that I work at. They make some sort of announcement that the "Dinosaur game" will start so I run over and get on my uniform. The uniform for the dinosaur game is kind of like an athlete's jersey. Mine was red.
I realize that no one else in the group wants to play the dinosaur game. They only want to eat pizza and sit and watch. I still play with people that I don't know and they all vary in age. Some were 3 years old, some were 80 years old.
The game begins and I don't know how to play. All I know is that I have to figure out a way to destroy these so called dinosaurs.
A HUGE door opens from the bottom up and I see the most amazing thing. There are two dinosaurs that must be at least 80 feet high. They are gigantor and are both T-rex's. One is green and one is red. Oh. Did I mention that they were made of Lego's? Cuz they were. Green and red legos. Once the door is open, the T-rex's ROAR very loudly and start to step out of their holding pens. All of the people I am with scream at the top of their lungs and start running to hide. I am so excited to play and can't wait to get started. I stand where I am and face the dinos. The red T-rex steps right in front of me and bends down to pick up a little girl that is next to me. I start laughing cuz she was caught. The laughter stopped when I realize that this red lego T-rex swallows the little girl whole. She just disappears into his massive belly. I think to myself "Um. Is this the game I signed up for? Dying isn't so much fun. " I quickly run away and hide in climb inside one of the tube structures. I hide in this yellow tube and watch the T-rex's scour the building for everyone in the game. Everyone else that I came with sit on the sidelines, eating pizza and cheering for their favorite player. I see my uncles and they mouth to me:
"YOU CAN DO IT!"
Little boys, old women, grown men, they all get swallowed whole by these dinosaurs. I start to think to myself: "How do I POSSIBLY destroy them to win the game?" I see people throwing balls and other various objects at them and all it seems to do is piss them off more.
Even though I am totally hidden in one of the tubes, the red T-rex eyes me and comes charging towards the tube structure I am in.
I climb higher and higher until I at least 20 feet above him. Now, I don't know how the T-rex does this, but he shrinks to a smaller, but still huge size, and starts to climb into the tubes after me.
It was at this point that the dream turned into a horrifying nightmare.
I notice that the T-rex is very agile and is climbing up towards me very fast. I find an exit slide in the tubes and I slide away from him.
Once at the bottom of this amazing slide, I see a lego Betty Rubble and Wilma Flintstone go running by me with one kid above each of their heads. (Understand this...it may sound bizzare and slightly humorous, but when I saw them run by, a major streak of fear coursed through my veins.)(cuz I mean seriously...no one said that lego betty's and wilma's would be in the game!)
I run over to my gay uncle Brad and I say: "Help me! HELP ME!" He, along with the rest of my family, BURST out laughing at me and Brad says: "You wanted to play, so go play."
Yikes.
I turn around and notice that the green T-rex and spotted me and is charging in my direction. I look to my right and see a bathroom door. I run over to it and go inside. Once inside, I realize that it isn't a bathroom at all, but some sort of EXTREMELY small storage closet. I lock the door and think to myself: "He could never get in here. It is air tight and there is a metal door separating the two of us.
As I am thinking this, the T-rex starts to ram his head against the door. The door seems to hold up and I feel relieved. I'll just wait until the game is over and then I will come out, I think.
But the green T-rex isn't giving up. He roars loudly and then takes a huge bite out of the top of the door. I scream as well and back as far as I can into the corner. The T-rex starts taking bite after bite out of the door, with a HUGE vengence. The strength he has proves to be too much for the storage closet. A whole opens up to my right. After the T-rex finishes off the door, I stand there screaming. He then lunges at me with the biggest lego teeth I have ever seen. I quickly jump over his snout and through the hole that has opened up. I go running as fast as I can back to the huge tube structure that I was in.
The T-rex screams "I AM GOING TO GET YOU!"
(Yes, you got that right. Suddenly the T-rex speaks very good English)
I climb and climb into the tubes and once I am at the very highest point of the structure I look down and see his huge head below me. At this point he is eating someone, but I can't tell who it is. I look across the room and see this kid Orahn that is a student at my workplace. (Yes Ari. Orahn is waving at me from across the room....why the FUCK is he in my dream?) I wave back, as though I have the time, and look back down at the T-rex. His doesn't seem to be noticing me, but I notice that on the very top of his skull is a button that says
"PUSH ME". Without even thinking about it, I vault over the side of the structure and I land directly on the button. The entire dinosaur collapses VERY GENTLY under me and the T-rex turns into a baby lego T-rex.
Swear to God, the fear leaves me and I think "How cute!"
I pick up the baby T-rex and hold it in the palm of my hand. I look around the room and no one is running anywhere. It's just kids playing normal games like "Who can climb the tubes fastest?" or "Try to find me in the balls!"
The game seems to be over. Uncle Brad calls out: "Time to go home." I go over to meet my family and we leave Stompin' Grounds. As we walk out to the parking lot, I wake up.
WHA WHA WHAT?!?!?!?!
And that's it. But when I woke up, I was still petrified. Why the FUCK did I dream about this. Why the FUCK have I had any of the dreams that I have had in the last 3 nights? I can blame it on the nicotine patch, or I can just accept the fact that I think in ways that only psycho-paths and serial killers think.
Hmmm....
